Grieving with Hope

My wife died this week.  It was awful to say goodbye to her here on earth and to watch her take her final breath.  Nothing can prepare you for that and we are still reeling from our loss.  

I have entered the school of grief.  I look forward to learning from the great Christian resources on this subject. I am not a grief expert but would be better described as a preschooler nervous about their first day.  

But I’ve already learned something that I wanted to share with you today.  

As I was laying in bed Friday night and wrestling with all that has taken place and the reality of Janel’s absence, I was praying and seeking the Lord.  In those moments I sensed the Holy Spirit giving me a very simple thought about the days ahead.  I share it because I need to publicly state my intentions in these moments and to encourage us all as we face adversity in our life.  

Paul said in I Thessalonians 4 that as believers we should not  “grieve as others do who have no hope.”  As I lay there broken over the earthly absence of my bride I felt the Lord calling me to commit to “grieving with hope” during this unbelievably sad season in our life.  

What does that mean?  I think that it means at least these 5 simple things.  

BY GOD’S GRACE

1. I will weep.  Paul said we do actually grieve.  We just don’t grieve like one who has never trusted in Christ.  But we weep as did Paul, as did Jesus mother, as did Mary at the tomb of our Lord, as Jesus Himself wept at Lazarus death.  Janel’s absence is so poignant in my life.  The sense of her loss is so painful, I won’t hold back the tears, tamp the unexpected emotion nor deny the reality of my loss.  I am weeping and will continue to grieve.  

BY GOD’S GRACE

2. I will worship.  Everyday I must realign my perspective by focusing on the character, the nature, the work and the promises of God.  Through scripture and prayer I must worship in the midst of my weeping.  God is still good.  His promises are still true.  His Holy Spirit still guides and His mercies are still new every morning.  So in the midst of loss I will continue  to look up and worship the Lord.  

BY GOD’S GRACE

3. I will be grateful.  While the future looks sad to me right now and I feel her absence everywhere I turn, I must refuse to get angry or bitter about what I have lost and instead spend considerable time everyday expressing thanksgiving to God for all that He gave me in her life and companionship.  I often told Janel in the past couple of years that our 34 years together were equal to most people’s 60 years of marriage.  I will give thanks to God everyday for the blessings in my life that He has given.  

BY GOD’S GRACE

4. I will be faithful.  I will remain true to all that God has called me to as a Christian, as a father, a grandfather and as a pastor.  I will not allow my pain to be an excuse for the indulgence of attitudes, behaviors or habits of the flesh that could dampen the Spirit’s work in me.  While devastated, I cannot give in to self-pity or allow Satan to use this pain to harm the work of God in and through me.  

BY GOD’S GRACE

5. I will anticipate.  Believers live with hope.  I will look forward to how God is going to use this pain in my life to do something good.  I will anticipate the sanctification of this suffering for the glory of God.  I will be excited about being back in the pulpit and the day to day ministry in the not too distant future.  I will expect God to use this to deepen my intimacy with Him and help me better fulfill the calling He has on my life.  And I will look forward to that glorious day that awaits us all when “we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.”  I will see Janel again and by God’s grace, I will live the rest of my life on earth with Heaven always in view.  

BE ENCOURAGED, WE’RE CHRISTIANS!

Troy